Monday, August 31

Falling slowly.

It's getting old. It's been almost 7 weeks of bald headedness for this girl...and I'll be honest, I want hair back. Easy enough right? Grow it back...big deal. Yet, inside it's far more complicated. I'm sticking it out with Katie bug because this is my way of sacrificing for her. I pray more, I am humbled often, and I need this. However, I am struggling big time.

This small struggle is still teaching me. I can just grow my hair back in a matter of months as soon as I decide to stop buzzing it.1 I have a choice. Many people don't; Katie has no choice. So, though I would love to just give in and let my hair grow, I'm not giving in.

Why is it so bad? Well friends, I guess it's because people are just mean. People stare, and not in a way that says, "Why doesn't she have hair?" but it's more of a, "What the hell is wrong with that girl?" I get pointed at, giggled at, and the stink eye (and it's NOT just the way their face is, haha). Surprisingly, it is overwhelming how much of the crap I get comes from young adults 20 years of age all the way up to older people. Sad. People can be so rude! I don't usually let it bother me, but last week at a high school I was stared at, laughed at, pointed at, and that was kind of unexpected. I went to play volleyball in a gym and left with as much confidence in myself as I have in my volleyball skills...zero. Wasn't my best of days.

Eyes can hurt. Words are one thing, but body language pierces the heart of others if you aren't careful. I learned that I need to be fully aware of the looks I give others, the moments I choose to laugh, and the way I react.

I am bald by choice remember. What if I had no choice and I was treated the way I am sometimes. I can't even put into words how that must feel for sick people. For my Katie, I empathize fully. It's not always fun to be different.

To end on a more positive note, I have friends I hold closer to my heart than any small rude gesture I receive. I have those who pick me up and encourage me. I am a fully blessed girl. And a tired one today too...so I may need to come back around and edit this post, because who knows if I'm making any sense :) American Idol concert last night with one of my favorite girls in the world. Road trips are wonderfully exhausting.

With love.

2 comments:

Beth said...

You are one of my favorite girls in the world. Keep your spirits high, my love :)

Kelly said...

I love you no matter what... Bald is Beautiful, and if people can't see you for what you are they aren't worth your time. you are too good for that